Skift Take
Hotels have become too servile, letting badly behaved guests ruin carefully crafted experiences. They need to take notes from the Hôtel du Cap, where standards and behavior are gently enforced for the benefit of all.
Hotel guests have gone too far: rude behavior towards staff and poor etiquette that ruins the experience for others – think work calls on speaker for all of us to hear.
It’s clear that the meticulously crafted aesthetic of luxury hotels, designed for travelers that notice the details, is being undermined by the behavior of the guests themselves. I’ve talked to countless hotel operators who tell me the balance of power has shifted too far. The issue has been the talk of General Manager conferences and over drinks.
Consider this scenario: You’re in a beautifully designed hotel lobby lounge in Dubai, enjoying a coffee, while a fat cat in a bathroom robe with his gut exposed conducts a live FaceTime session. Last year, I was sipping wine while watching the sunset from a Tokyo skyscraper, the scene enhanced by perfect ambient music, only to be interrupted by American guests loudly discussing “Real Housewives” and showing each other videos on their phones.
During the pandemic and immediate recovery, it seems like everyone’s collective self-awareness dropped: public spaces turned into private living rooms where it was OK to blast your phone without headphones. Athleisure could be spotted in high-end dining rooms.
I’m calling it out. We aren’t going to change the behavior of the guests alone, we need a strong counterparty: Hotels need to develop a stronger stance and uphold guest standards in the same way they manage other aspects of their hospitality.
I’m saying that the customer is not always right. It’s up to each property to enforce standards that align with its ambiance, location, and overall message.
One Hotel Cracking Down
I was inspired by a recent Air Mail article that highlighted the standards set by Hôtel du Cap. House rules are prominently displayed on cards in the rooms, and dress codes are enforced (e.g., no swimsuits in the garden, no shorts in the dining room). This iconic hotel maintains its reputation by having a firm stance. The aim is that behavior of any one guest does not overshadow the collective experience.
This approach requires a certain finesse but is refreshing. Observing the increasing sartorial standards at fashion weeks and my own unscientific observation of more suits in New York City dining rooms, it seems that hotels would benefit from aligning with the cultural return to decorum and adjusting their standards accordingly.
It’s important to note that this can be done in partnership with the guest. As the Air Mail piece notes: “Those who stay at the Hôtel du Cap — primarily masters of the universe — are used to creating moods, controlling rooms, and lording over underlings.”
However, it is the symbiotic relationship between the hotel and the effort of the guest that creates a harmonious atmosphere. The big shots need to be told what is accepted. That behavior is a vital part of the contract to create the best, most magical experience.
The Rules
To get this right, a few rules are essential: First, hotels and hospitality brands need to set clear expectations upfront. Politely inform guests about any standards regarding phone usage, dress codes, etc., both before arrival and at check-in.
Second, brands must understand their niche. A barefoot luxury resort may not need to enforce a strict dress code, but a traditional luxury property could gently implement appropriate standards in the right places. I like how the Mandarin Oriental in Bangkok doesn’t allow shorts in the Bamboo bar in the evening.
Third: don’t make the front-line employees be the enforcers: this often requires a deft touch. This is particularly relevant when it comes to managing the disruptive effects of loud phone usage or inappropriate filming. I witnessed a senior manager at the Beverly Hills Hotel curtail an aspiring influencer filming in the Polo Lounge in a manner that left everyone feeling respected. It was magic to see, and a master class of how this should work.
To be clear, I’m not advocating for every hotel to adopt the rigid standards of an old-school Greenwich Country Club. What I am suggesting is that there is a silent majority of guests who would appreciate more backbone from hotels when dealing with unruly behavior. When guests and an exceptional property are in sync, the overall experience is significantly enhanced.
And if you doubt this can be achieved, consider how foreigners in Japan strive to adhere to local manners and decorum. Even if they aren’t perfect, a well behaved traveler makes an effort. And with a bit of mindfulness from both the guests and the property, everyone can be more polished, self-aware, and considerate.